The pull

Tonight was craft night up at the church and as usual I stayed way too late laughing, story telling and eating eclairs and orange slices.  And I happened to get a little work done on pinning my single girl squares but the more I attend "craft night" I realize its more just ladies night out together.  And I thank Carver for being so difficult with that first day of potty training that inspired me to flee the house to that first craft night.  Its been a real treat to start regularly attending.

Anyway,  I pulled into the driveway and walked in the door to find my baby sleeping peacefully upstairs and Joshua and my little Carver snuggled up, asleep on the couch.  I picked Carver up and put him in his bed and came back down for some toast and to check on Josh.  You see he has this habit of falling asleep on the couch and waking up at 3 in the morning still there and hobbling up to bed.  He woke up and we chatted for a bit.  I caught him up on all the church lady gossip from my evening with the ladies and he filled me in on all the funny things the boys did while I was away.  Asher had a hard time getting to sleep and Carver snuggled next to him watching netflix shows while Josh tried to get caught up on the latest book he and Mady are reading together so he could be prepared for their next Skype session where they quiz each other about it.  A good night all around.

Eventually I looked at the clock and told him I wanted to work a little more on some projects upstairs but ended up reading some blogs and came across this one.  It was so beautiful and so heartbreaking and when I read stuff like that I just think, what am I doing up, alone?  Why aren't I cuddling my loved ones close and cherishing how blessed I am to have them with me, to hold and kiss and hear their sweet voices.  Does anyone else ever feel guilty for the time crafting and quilting or whatever your hobby is taking you away from your loved ones?  I know its silly and I know that I really need this "thing" that's mine and my creative outlet.  And for heaven's sake most of everything I make is FOR THEM but its posts like that that make me think of the times I'm shooing my kids back to their toys as they climb on me as I try to sew, or hurrying through bath time or bedtime so I can get to my projects, or sitting up at midnight blogging (like right now) as my sweet husband is down on the couch waiting for me to come tell him I'm off to bed.

Am I the only one that feels this conflict?

Anyway, it got me thinking, not sewing and so as such, no picture.  Just thoughts tonight.  And shutting things down to go kiss my babies and tell my Joshua to come on up off the couch so I can cuddle him and feel how lucky I am to be able to do that.

Head over to the Auction for Valerie or check out her blog and read a little of her story.